Friday, May 26, 2006

holy whips of +5 healing! it's 10 Commandments mashup madness!

We are pleased to offer a double movie mashup special for your entertainment today.

#1 Ten Things I Hate About Commandments
It's Cecil B. DeMille meets the teen-formula-flick in this sassy 10 Commandments remix with special guest appearances by Samuel L. Jackson and Sinead O'Connor.

And if that wasn't enough, we also have...
#2 The low-tech mashup play-at-home edition
If you've always wanted to make your own mashups but don't have the editing tools or skills, try this easy game: just retell a movie plot backwards to get a whole new movie!
Where do we start but...The Ten Commandments
Weary of Moses' harsh commandments, the Jewish people send him back up the mountain and have an orgy before melting a golden calf down to make necklaces and plates. Fed up of living in exile they go back to Egypt where Pharoah welcomes them with open arms. They are given jobs dismantling pyramids and celebrate the miraculous prosperity of the nation - and its first-born sons - by wiping lamb's blood off their doorways.
But it's Mashup Madness Friday so keep reading, cause there's more, more, more mashup maaaaaaadness!
Jaws
A large shark finds and returns a lifeguard's bullet and oxygen tank. The shark then goes on to to rebuild a boat, and give birth to several humans through his mouth. The shark, its good deeds done, returns once more to its deep blue home - the sea.

Indiana Jones Triolgy
An incompetent archaeologist travels the globe losing precious objects and information, but occasionally chasing boulders up hills and unmelting the faces of nazis. Notable feats include:
  • making his dad chunder into jesus' best cup
  • indian cult members leaping at huge velocity out of a river of crocodiles
  • a burly nazi materialising from nowhere in the midst of a plane's propellors
  • Indy jury-rigging a VTOL rubber raft with which he boards and hijacks a plane.
The Passion of the Christ
A man awakens to find himself nailed to a cross without knowing how he got there, possibly after heavy drinking. Of course he is let down shortly after and the Romans tend to his wounds with a whip of +5 healing after he helped them get the cross back to storage. They parade him in front of a crowd as thanks, before re-arresting a criminal who had been mistakenly released in the man's place, despite the consternation of the crowd. He walks away with some of his friends, one of them lies about having said he didn't know him.

He gets to the peaceful garden of Gethsemane guided by Jewish escort and one of the man's friends leaves with them after kissing him goodbye, as per the custom.

The man cries to the lord about how he doesn't want to face agony for his divine plan. The Lord say k, n prblm. The guys friends go to sleep because it's been a long fucking day
Low-tech mashup game and brilliant examples courtesy of the fine folks at the Something Awful Forums.

Here's my shot:
The Sound of Music
Austrian expat musical sensation family the Von Trapps hike over the Alps from Switzerland to frighten the Nazi's out of Austria by bellowing folk songs at the top of their lungs. Young Liesl's affections inspire a young Nazi officer to reform and become a flirtacious postman. The Von Trapp children tire of their step-mother and turn against Maria in juvenile conspiracy. The Captain and Maria disolve their marriage but keep living together, and Von Trapp courts a local socialite right under Maria's nose. Tired of Captain Von Trapp's increasingly domineering ways and the insolence of his ill-mannered brood of children, Maria seeks refuge in a nearby convent, which she flees after a series of discipline problems to run around singing in the hills like a madwoman.
So come one now, you know you're dying to give it a try. What can you come up with?
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